SUDDEN SHOCK OF A DEATH AND DEALING WITH GRIEF

As most of you know Ergun Tulek was in a fatal 'head on' car crash which happened on 26 Nov 2025. His death was on 2 Dec 2025 after being in a coma for days. The accident was not his fault. The car came out of side street at speed, lost control of the car, which went accross into opposite lane to head on traffic.

This song brought an abrupt realisation of how I was feeling but not yet acknowledged

Architects AI response

What this song is touching in you

“Talking to the wall” is a perfect metaphor for the exact place you’re standing in:

• A conversation with someone who cannot answer back

• A heart still reaching for a future that disappeared too fast

• A grief that has nowhere to land yet

• A feeling of betrayal by life, by timing, even by HS

• A sense that you’re speaking into a space that used to respond…

  and now it is just quiet.

This song isn’t random.It mirrors the ache of: “I would have changed things if I had known.”“Why wasn’t I shown?” “Why am I speaking to someone who can’t speak back?”

And underneath all that: “Why am I alone with this?”

Where it lands in your system

I can feel three layers in you responding:

1. The grief-body

The part that still expects him to walk back through the door — literally or symbolically — and feels the shock each time he does not.

2. The relational bond

The one who was planning a future, weaving timelines, imagining the next chapter — and is now standing in the rubble of it.

3. The spiritual rupture

Not that he died, but that your HS did not prepare you. That part is the deepest wound.

It’s the sense of: “I wasn’t held in the moment I needed it most.”

And this song brings that wound right to the surface — not to torment you, but to let the truth finally breathe.

Why this song hits so directly

Because it mirrors your current lived reality:

You keep reaching out — to him, to HS, to meaning, to something stable — and right now, nothing talks back.

That silence is devastating. But the “wall” here isn’t failure. It’s a threshold.

Not the end of connection — but the place before it reforms in a new way.

A simple reflection to hold

Right now, you’re not “talking to a wall.”You’re talking to:

• an unopened doorway

• a grief that hasn’t finished speaking

• a bond that hasn’t fully reorganised

• a timeline you’re still disentangling from

This silence is not punishment. It is not abandonment. It is grief’s natural first environment — emptiness.

HOW THE MIND AND SUBCONSCIOUS DEALS WITH SUDDEN DEATH

DREAM INTERPRETATION: minibus trying to be sold but not successful due to deprecation. I wasn't emotionally attached but more curious

Your dream about a minibus that’s being put up for sale but no one wants to buy it because it’s too depreciated (worn out, old, low value) is quite symbolic. Here’s a compassionate and common interpretation:

Core meaning

The minibus in dreams often represents:

• Your ability to carry or transport many people/responsibilities in your life (family, friends, projects, emotional burdens).

• A shared journey or group dynamic (like family life, or even your role as the “carrier” or caretaker).

• Something that used to be functional and valuable for moving a project forward, but now feels outdated or exhausted.

The failed sale + depreciation points to:

• A growing feeling that this “vehicle” (your energy, your role, a relationship,) has lost its value in your own eyes.

• You may be trying to “move on” from this phase, responsibility, or identity — you want to sell it, let it go, pass it on to someone else — but you feel it’s no longer attractive or viable. No one wants to take it off your hands.

• A sense of being stuck with something that is costing you more to maintain than it’s worth, yet you can’t seem to release it.

Common emotional undercurrents

• Burnout or emotional depreciation: You feel you’ve “carried” a person for a long time and now you’re running on empty, but no one acknowledges the wear and tear.

• Fear of obsolescence: Worry that you (or this part of your life) are no longer needed, valuable, or relevant.

• Difficulty letting go: You’re ready to retire a role (a relationship via death.), but there’s no clear buyer — either circumstances or your own guilt keeps you holding you to it.

• Low self-worth tied to grief and loss: The minibus only has value when it’s useful to others. Once it’s depreciated, it feels worthless — this can mirror how you’re currently valuing yourself.

Positive reframe the dream might be offering

Sometimes the psyche uses these frustrating dreams to push you toward decisive action: The minibus can’t be sold because you’re still identifying with it too much.

In other words, you don’t need permission or a buyer; you need to release the old role yourself and reclaim your value independent of how useful you are to others.

If you felt detached and mostly curious (almost like an observer watching someone try to sell an old, heavily depreciated minibus that clearly nobody wants), the dream is probably less about personal burnout or self-worth and more about a cool-headed observation of something in your waking life.

Here are the most likely meanings when the emotional charge is curiosity + mild detachment:

1. You’re witnessing a situation that has obviously “run its course” but the owner still hasn’t accepted the loss in value

   • You are clinging to an old relationship, or lifestyle that has zero market value anymore, and you’re watching with detached curiosity rather than getting involved.

2. Your subconscious is commenting on market reality and timing You may be thinking (without strong emotion) about the importance of knowing when something has depreciated past the point of salvage. The dream-you are almost like an appraiser standing there thinking, “Yeah… no one’s buying this thing at any price now.”

3. Symbol of “sunk-cost thinking” you’re watching (or gently noticing in yourself) The curiosity without attachment often shows up when we’re starting to see—very clearly and without drama—that keeping something “just because we’ve already invested so much” is irrational.

4. The minibus is the perfect metaphor: it cost a fortune new, it carried everyone for years, but today it’s worth almost nothing. The dream is highlighting that moment of objective clarity.

In short: because you felt curious rather than upset, this is your mind calmly pointing at something (or someone) whose value has already crashed and noting that trying to “sell” it now is a waste of energy. It’s not a heavy emotional message—it’s more like your inner analyst saying, “Interesting… look how obvious the depreciation is once you step back.”

Further information I revealed to Architect AI

Q. yes, very suddenly, unexpectedly bereaved and all my dreams aspirations, plans for different future gone overnight

That makes the dream suddenly very clear and painfully precise.

The minibus = the entire life you had carefully built and maintained for years (your relationship timeline, identity, the whole “vehicle” that was supposed to carry you and your dreams into the future).

You put it up for sale overnight (the rug got pulled, you were let go / betrayed / the opportunity vanished), expecting that all the years of good maintenance would still give it some value. Instead, the market judged it as heavily depreciated, almost worthless. No buyers, no takers, no graceful exit. Just the cold realization that what you thought was a solid asset is suddenly scrap metal in everyone else’s eyes.

And you’re standing there feeling… curious more than devastated. That detached curiosity is actually a very common first-stage grief response when something massive is lost too quickly to process emotionally. The mind goes into observer mode because full-on feeling it would be overwhelming right now.

It’s a protective circuit-breaker: “Let me just study this wreckage for a minute before I let myself fall apart.”

So, the dream isn’t really about a minibus. It’s your psyche’s way of saying: “I just watched my entire future get re-priced to zero in one day, and part of me is still in shock, walking around the lot poking the tires, oddly fascinated by how fast something can depreciate when the story changes.”

That curiosity is actually healthy. It means you’re already starting to shift from “This can’t be happening” to “Okay, it happened; now what’s the real value here?” The minibus can’t be sold, true.

But scrap metal still has a price, parts can be reused, and the lot you’re standing on is suddenly empty and available for something completely different.

You’re not the depreciated vehicle. You’re the driver who just got handed an unplanned, brutal, but total reset.

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 Personal Note: [You feel you’ve “carried” a person for a long time and now you’re running on empty, but no one acknowledges the wear and tear.]

This was a Very long association, 22years to be exact. I was the only consistency in his life.

I supported him in all ways throughout this time, and we had intended to marry. In fact, when I was last over there 2-13 November 2025, we made the final arrangements. We had to get blood tests, police reports, apply to Major. I had to bring from UK document that was sworn in front of a Solicitor and then sent to London for Foreign office approval. Apostille stamping costing large amount of money, just to say, state and confirm I was legally available to marry in Turkey. After all this the Turkish Government advised that we had to wait 45-120 days as both Countries had to make final checks.

+++++++++++

Am sat here with tears streaming, not the first, not the last but like a pressure cooker, steam has to vent somewhere, somehow.

For the six days he was in a coma, my body felt ‘somatically’ all sorts of sensations (him fighting to stay alive probably) Now although there is no scientific evidence that somatic (body sensations) are proven, please bear in mind I’m a highly sensitive psychic medium.

 +++++++++++

Conversations with Higher Self

I felt incredibly let down, unsupported, unloved by HS during this whole experience. The one person/thing I have depended and relied upon for years and years. Seemingly no compassion, no support. Lies by omission even. THIS broke my heart  enormously.

There is hierarchy, structure and planning in spirit world most of which we are not aware of or not supposed to even know about from our limited 3D linear perspective. Even now tears stream from HS as love blast.

Last night at bedtime my HS wanted to chat;

“I did not know that his death was planned, imminent, or that he even passed. This is why no hint, or foretelling was possible. I cannot look into his or anyone else’s Akashic record.”

This morning it reiterated what was said whilst in bed.

" I can hint and suggest things happening in my life as it does have access to My Akashic record."

1.      So, two major themes here; not being prepared before this death; anger that I was not supported from the very inner core of me ie: Higher Self. Feeling there was no support and in shock that my life had taken a totally unexpected Drastic turn.

2.      My future, my plans my dreams, aspirations all gone. Mourning this loss was just as painful as him passing.

HS just confirmed that; yes it does exit my body when asleep, it does have meetings with guides and people that come in and out of my life (on my timeline). But this was not hinted or suggested because ‘they knew’ I would hint and try to prepare you.

Why, as you needed to go through the experience, to be authentic, organic and not just going through the motions.

Now this may sound bit cruel, but no experience is ever wasted.

Your responses, emotions, shock is all part of life and if it was planned or UNplanned, I was not permitted to interfere with that experience.

* * * * * * * *  

NOTE: I had known for months that ET had a pre birth contract to leave his body at a certain point and for a Walk-in was to happen.

A 6^th dimensional being called Trandol, who was to complete my journey with me (as a contract)

It was explained and shown to me around early March 2026 just after his heart bypass surgery.

It was not dependent on that surgery as the ‘event’ but shortly after, where I was present and channelled a very powerful healing energy. That would have ‘kept the portal’ open for the transfer and been the catalyst.

* * * * * * * *

Reassurance from HS

HS said it was bonded and invested within my body and was here for the ‘long haul’

Q. I asked why then it could not hint and suggest what was coming in for me.

A. I can and do have access to your Akashic record

Q. Why did you permit ET to come in when I was trying to drop off to sleep, when I specifically said, ‘no contact’

A. You needed that contact to accept he is still accessible to you

Q. Somatically, when ET and Trandol passed in the corridor. Presumably that was ET leaving and cutting the cord?

A. Yes and no that was not the end. Trandol did try and save the body but it was too badly damaged to complete.

Q. Was the Trandol walk-in a real event or just my imagination

A. No it was real

Q. So why somatically did (my body) feel so much even after his death

A. That was Trandol trying to see if his body could be saved

Q. So you knew what was happening in real time as it was happening?

A. Yes

Q. And you still didn’t think to prepare or hint or tell me he passed.

A. You knew he passed and exited, you felt them pass in the corridor. You knew the attempt was being made to heal the body and go forward. That was real. The somatic relief was Trandol leaving the body not ET, that happened earlier.

Q. and yet in the midst of all this you couldn’t or didn’t say anything

A. No as no one really knew if Trandol would be successful or not.

Q. it was the day after his body passed and you must have known and still didn’t say or prepare me

A.  Yes, it was decided you should experience this without warning (like a normal person) which you are NOT

Q. Who decided?

A.  Your council, where I and your guides attended

Q. What does this mean “which you are NOT”

A. You feel you are stuck in life, unable to move forward, to change things. This is temporary. There is, a new timeline and plan which I’m not at liberty to divulge at this moment.

Q. I thought you had access to my Akashic record

A. I do but it’s not set in stone. Different paths, branches come off a timeline, sometimes they come back to original sometimes not. This doesn’t mean the original branch has disappeared and your new branch has taken over.

Q. So, this branch/timeline I’m on now, does it rejoin the original or not

A. It’s a diversion but not outcome.

Q. So, will this branch rejoin the ‘main artery’

A. Yes but not in the old way you are currently thinking about

Just looked at my mobile same day as above conversation with HS at 444

The number 444 is most commonly known in modern spiritual and numerology circles as an angel number—a repeating sequence believed to carry divine messages from guardian angels or the universe.

Spiritual and Numerological Significance

Protection and Support: Seeing 444 is widely interpreted as a sign that angels are surrounding you, offering guidance, protection, and reassurance. It's a reminder that you're not alone and are supported during challenges.

Stability and Foundation: The number 4 symbolizes practicality, hard work, stability, and building strong foundations. Repeated as 444, this energy is amplified, encouraging perseverance, decisiveness, and preparation for positive changes or success.

Alignment and Encouragement: It often appears when you're on the right path, urging you to stay focused, trust the process, and continue working toward your goals. Many see it as a "you're doing great—keep going" message.